Dear Diary,

As a member of the GPS generation, I have a terrible sense of direction. Each time I navigate myself home unassisted therefore becomes a moment of great pride for me. This morning I drove myself home 45 minutes from my apartment in Detroit, unassisted. This particular expedition should not be such a point of pride for me, as I’ve seen this route countless times from the passenger seat, but I can’t help it. There is something wonderful about absent-mindedly driving home.

This time last year, I was solely comfortable driving in my city and its immediate surroundings. I had barely driven on the highway since my road test years earlier. This year, remaining in my comfort zone was simply not possible, so I pushed through my fear and drove on the highway many, many times. I’ve since discovered I’m not half bad at driving, and on a mildly warm mid-morning past rush hour, I can even enjoy doing it. Instead of focusing on boring things, like the impending doom that seeps in any time I operate a large vehicle, this morning I focused on the road before me. And my music. I rolled my windows down (this time by choice, not by necessity – my car has no A/C) and blasted my unfinished transitory fall playlist. This was a borderline cathartic experience. I set my heart on finishing that playlist as soon as I got home.

It’s unusual that I drive home on a Monday. This time, it was due to a frenzied rush out the door last night, which ended with an unintentional abandonment of my precious laptop. In an unexpected way, I’m pretty glad I forgot it and had to come retrieve it. Somehow, driving home – an experience that used to perturb me entirely – became the highlight of my day. Well, maybe the second-brightest highlight to the pizza I had for lunch. Anyway, I can conclusively say that this summer was one of growth, courage, and maturity, as summer should be.

Today marks one week until my third year of college. Here’s to more growth, less fear, and an equal amount of life-changing-ly good music.

Sophie

Hello everyone!

I’m so excited to be back here on Carousel Thirteen. I have taken up my own social-media-free journey as of late, and I feel that this has been my most successful attempt yet.

Today, I woke up early-ish and enjoyed the aftermath of a stormy night. While getting ready, I realized Maddie’s cat, Grischa, had knocked my toothbrush off of the bathroom counter the night before, and I needed to go get a replacement. Starting the day off with an errand always makes me feel so adult. Anyway, I got back home and brushed my teeth. I also managed to do some pretty extensive cleaning of my room. This has been a never-ending process during my transition between living at my parents’ house and my new apartment, but it felt productive nonetheless. I also picked up my brother from his friend’s house and spent the beginning of my afternoon riding my bike through my neighborhood. When I got back I ate some leftover Thai food and began to chart the course for my afternoon. 

When I’m living at home, I’m typically assigned to various chores, including driving my 15-year-old brother around, which I don’t mind at all. It added some structure to my day today, as I let taking him to football practice lead into me spending a few hours at our local library. I don’t frequent my local library like I did as a kid, and I’m pretty sure I lost my library card in 2017, but I still feel such a strong connection to its environment. 

At the library, I designed a poster for an upcoming school event, cleaned out every file on my laptop, read Gillan Flynn’s 60-page short story The Grownup, and checked out two books with my brand new library card! The librarian who assisted me kindly complimented my bangs and I felt like a million bucks. 

When I got home I looked into some of the resources my library granted me, which included a kind of streaming service for a ton of great movies. I always forget about how much the library gives you access to, for free (other than your taxes). If you haven’t been to your local library recently, I would highly recommend it, if that isn’t abundantly clear. 

After I got home, my mom, my brother, and I decided to go to the mall. I’m not sure what anyone needed that warranted going there. I will say, though, the mall nearest my home still has some “mall culture” left – it was busy on a Monday at 7pm. I didn’t buy anything, but I always have fun looking. 

On the way home we stopped at the grocery store, making our little excursion conclude at around 8:30, which is late for us. I figured I’d end the night with one of the movies I could access through my library. Tonight’s pick was The Apartment (1960), which had been on my watchlist for quite some time. It was very good. 

I end today with a sense of productivity, and a lot of excitement about my new books and my new groceries and our new website! I think the next thing I’ll add is a book review page. Reading is my oldest hobby and I finally feel a genuine excitement to read again, which I feel that I need to nourish with a self-indulgent writing outlet. 

Anyways, thank you for reading. I’d love to talk to you all on here so let me know if you have any questions for me, or book/movie/life recommendations. Long live the blog.

Sophie

Hello everyone! We are here with exciting awesome news. We have a YouTube channel. Yup. We have officially posted our first video, so if you are interested in the game Doki Doki Literature Club or if you are interested in laughing then you should definitely check it out. Originally it was just Sophie and I, but Maddie eventually joined and later on we get an Allison (and her boyfriend Mathew) feature. How exciting.

Come watch us laugh really loudly for an hour and fifteen minutes x

Dear Diary,

Man, I’ve been slacking big time on these entries. My bad everyone, hate to disappoint, and all that. Remember when I said now that summer’s on I’ll be able to get you guys some more content? Haha. Guess not. But here I am, with an extra special entry on this particularly manic Monday.

If you’re curious as to how I’ve been spending my summer so far, I don’t have much to satisfy your curiosity. I’m mostly just hanging out with myself, getting some much needed time to binge watch The X Files and think about leaving my house. This weekend, though, I worked three eight-hour shifts, so I have really no reason to feel guilty about it. At least not in my book. While we’re on the topic, I guess I should explain my job. I work at a state park near my hometown. At the moment I’m stationed on the campground, which means I have to help people reserve campsites, sell them recreation passes or ice or firewood, clean up around the area, and basically just find a way to occupy my time for 8 hours a day. I like it for the most part. Sometimes it’s super slow and I’m just sitting around waiting for someone to come by the campground office or waiting for an excuse to drive around on the little cart we have. Other times I really enjoy just sitting and letting time go by. Either way, it’s getting me some money—which makes it all worth it in the end, right?

Anyway, today was a rest day for the most part. I woke up pretty early, started my day very slowly, eventually was a little productive which felt good. I also trimmed my bangs and then freaked out because I thought they looked really bad and then realized they look fine. Oh, and something exciting (for pretty much me only)! I watched The X Files movie! It takes place between seasons 5 and 6, which I remembered right as I finished season 5 this morning. The movie was so good. I won’t say much because I’ll either bore you out of your mind or spoil it for you, and either way that is disadvantageous for me. Is that a word? Disadvantageous? You all know that I mean. But yeah, the movie, just know that I really liked it. I have such a love for when a beloved TV show randomly produces a movie, especially when the movie just feels like a 2-hour-long episode of the show. That is seriously awesome and charmingly unnecessary.

To be honest with everyone, I don’t really have much else to share. Tomorrow I should try to do something. I was thinking of going to the library or maybe the mall. I’ll keep everyone updated of course. That probably sounds like an empty promise after my fortuitous hiatus, but I’m trying my best here.

Peace out,

Sophie

Dear Diary,

I am writing this outside! That’s right everyone, it has officially become Spring in the great state of Michigan. I am so happy to report that it is 75 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze in my little corner of the world. I am in a state of complete contentment, because (in addition to the lovely weather) your girl is done with freshman year of college! I’m turning in my last assignment tonight after I give myself a break and proofread and all that fun stuff. I can’t believe how quickly it ended. Now I’m moving back home for the summer and I officially have no responsibilities (other than my job, which I’ll explain eventually). There’s some catharsis for sure in being done with all this. I’ve written around 3000 words in the past two days for my research paper and quite frankly I am clean out of words.

I’m mostly just excited to continue onward in life; this has been a year of growth for me, for sure, and in all honesty I’m ready to keep growing. I have so many things to look forward to, and to be vulnerable with you all, a lot of those things really scare me. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last several months it’s that just because something scares me doesn’t mean that it’s bad. Wow, such an original observation that no one has ever had before! Great job, Sophie! But seriously, I get very anxious about things very quickly, and sometimes I need to take a step back and reflect on even the most trite observations.

Another fun thing for you guys: I should hopefully be able to write a ton more now that I’m done with school. I’m looking forward to a lot of fun essays about stuff only I care about. I’m looking forward to going swimming and seeing my friends and eating stone fruits. My life is already very whimsical but I’m excited to add to that somewhat, and to supplement the whimsy with getting paid.

I hope there aren’t any major typos in this. I can barely see anything in the direct sunlight… but I’m not complaining. I’ll talk to you all soon. I have cabin fever from writing my paper all day and I need to go walk around.

With love, joy, and whimsy,

Sophie

Dear Diary,

Oh boy how today has tried me – and it’s only 4pm. I’m being very overdramatic right now, but you’d understand if you had to wait for an hour and a half in the waiting room of a doctors office for no good reason! I was gonna describe that whole experience to you all, but quite frankly I think that’s kind of bratty and I should be grateful I have medical insurance and all that. Let me know if I’m over-intellectualizing my emotions (I think I’m good).

Instead, I’m gonna talk about how exciting it is that we’re kind of going viral right now. I’m not gonna lie, it kinda freaked me out. I’m not great with this level of attention and some people are being unexpectedly mean or weird. But most of you guys are really nice and it’s so cool to have people reading my words and following me on Letterboxd and stuff. At the end of the day, I’m just a girl who likes to rant by means of a computer screen. Also, I have so many ideas for blogpost essays in the future. I kinda can’t wait until this semester is over so I can get into writing again. Speaking of which, I have less than two weeks left of my freshman year of college, which is insane, and frankly I’m in disbelief about it. It’s been a very weird, very transitional year. But, all in all, I’m so excited for what’s to come! I have a great summer job I’m excited about, and at the end of the summer I’m moving into a new apartment (and I’m gonna have my own room to decorate for the first time).

Summer is such a hard time for me because I hate hot weather and respond poorly to having no expectations to live up to. But I think this year has the structure and balance I’ve always wanted. I’d like to get into reading more too. Speaking of which, please give me book recommendations! I like pretty much everything except fantasy (sorry). You can leave those here by clicking the date at the top and scrolling to the comments section. Saying that felt like when you’re playing a video game and the character has to randomly be like “by the way, you can press X to jump!” and it completely breaks the immersion. Sorry about that.

Anyway, today I think I’m gonna do some schoolwork and go for a walk by myself. Pasta for dinner, of course. I appreciate you reading the inner workings of my twisted mind.

Take care,

Sophie

Dear Diary,

What up party people! Haha. It’s Sophie here to tell you about my day yesterday! Get excited!!!

Yesterday I woke up at 7 (completely unnecessarily as my first class wasn’t until 10) and took my time getting ready before watching some X-Files to brighten my morning. If you didn’t know, which you don’t because I haven’t told you, I live in a dorm with three other girls. This can cause a bit of disruption when getting ready, so I find it useful to get up early even when it means I go to bed at 10pm. Also, Abbi if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I’m so loud in the morning. I really try not to. Really.

I went to class from 10 to 11:15. It was uneventful so I won’t tell you about it, but imagine me being studious and participating in class (I know. I’m kind of a big deal). Eventually I got lunch with my aforementioned roommate, Abbi. Whenever we get dining hall food I only get a salad because everything else scares me. I then did some work before going to my Intro to Graphic Design class (that’s my major!) which is actually not my favorite of my classes. We had a full two and a half hour long critique on posters we’ve been making for the past week. It is very exhausting and anxiety inducing and scary and I hate it. But it’s very nice to get feedback on my work (which everyone was so kind about. Shoutout my classmates).

After a trying 2:30 to 5, Maddie picked me up to spend the night at her and Allison’s place. Maddie and I are basically codependent so I sleepover like once a week and we hangout and I eat Maddie’s food. This time, we had big plans to watch one of my favorite movies, Empire Records. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a fun, kinda cheesy, and slightly controversial teen flick about a bunch of employees in a record store. The movie takes place on April 8th, 1995, so naturally the 30 year anniversary was big among me and mine. First, though, Maddie and I did a fun photoshoot for both her artwork and my Intro to Photography class. We do a photoshoot every couple months, usually just for fun or to photograph one of Maddie’s pieces, but this was definitely a favorite. You can check some of them out on Maddie’s instagram (@madeleyess)! Subtle plug.

Anyway, we got to watching Empire Records (Allison joined in too). Maddie had never seen it and I think she liked it. I have seen it 5 times now. What can I say, I like to rewatch things. At some point, I’m going to do a blog post about teen movies — feel free to recommend any underrated ones you love (especially if I haven’t seen them already, which you can check at my Letterboxd).

I’ll talk to you all soon!

Love ya,

Sophie

Dear Diary,

Hiii! Sophie here. My good sister Maddie answered my prayers by providing me with my very own online diary here on Carousel Thirteen!!! Which you know because you’re reading this. Anyway, I haven’t had any particularly exciting days recently, which is unfortunate because I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to share my thoughts with the world and I really wanted a special day to tell you guys about. But hey, beggars can’t be choosers, and Maddie wants me to put something on here, so you get this.

Today I woke up to gorgeous early morning light streaming through the window of my childhood bedroom (Maddie and I are home for the weekend because she has a dentist appointment tomorrow). I think that’s poetic or something. At the very least, it set the tone for my morning very well. I had my yogurt for breakfast, got dressed at some point, and hit Maddie up about visiting the thrift on this fine day.

Since we had actually already established that we’d do that, Maddie obliged, and we hopped in the car jamming to her early 2000s playlist. Today was a good thrift day because the only people who were in the thrift store were older couples and the occasional small child. I personally get really insecure whenever I run into people my age at a thrift store (or anywhere, really) because I usually buy some BS that warrants judgment from those without joy or whimsy in their lives. It was also a particularly good thrift day because the Christian ballads the store was playing were not so blaringly loud I couldn’t hear myself think. Now onto what I got. As usual, I had my best luck in the men’s department. I found a short sleeve plaid button up perfect for summer layering, a navy long sleeve thermal, and a Tom and Jerry t-shirt that has some tagline on it I cannot remember right now and I cannot check because it is in the washing machine. As you can see, the Tom and Jerry get-up is exactly what I typically buy that can be safely placed in the “BS that warrants judgment” category. Regardless, I am excited to wear it out and express my fondness for cartoons that were most popular 65 years ago.

Once we got back from the thrift store, I made a scrumptious salad (recipes section coming soon) (not really but maybe someday) and chowed down before Maddie and I went for a leisurely walk around the neighborhood. Pretty much every time Maddie and I are home we take the same walk around our neighborhood because it just rocks. We could talk for literally the rest of time about anything so it goes by fast and is a great way to get some brain storms going. It’s actually on one of these walks that we concocted an early idea of this website! So, clearly, big things in the works here. Today, though, our minds were mostly occupied by the animal kingdom of our neighborhood. On our relatively short walk, we saw two cats, two cardinals, two bluejays, and approximately 400,000 squirrels. Among these critters were quite possibly the strangest squirrels I have ever seen. Their bodies were dark brown/black while their tails were a stark blond. Writing this, I’m afraid that I have an uncommon fascination with squirrels that may not be interesting to literally anyone reading this right now, but honestly this is my diary so I don’t even care. They were so cool. Seriously if you haven’t seen them before you should look up a photo and also add that to your bucket list.

Anyway, I’m gonna shut up now because nothing I did for the rest of the day was interesting. If you have to know, I made pasta and now I’m about to watch Aliens (1986). Goodnight world. Pleasure doing business with you.

Best,

Sophie